literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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