He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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