I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
