Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
