shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
