i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have fence marks all over my body
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
