It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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