it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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