You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
