You're completely useless in the revolution.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
pray to the hookup gods
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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