Your face is a jimmy john
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
