everyone is single if you try hard enough
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
