Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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