Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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