Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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