dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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