do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
