I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
