Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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