i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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