I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
