I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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