i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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