There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
