Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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