You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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