So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
