yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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