i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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