went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
im six kinds of drunk right now
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
