Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
