I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
