I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
