I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
