i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
