I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
