dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
