if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
