hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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