so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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