He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I need moral support for this bender
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
