Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
