Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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