You work out of a Hotel?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize