You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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