When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
