No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
