the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
