WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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