he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
