If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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