so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
