cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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