I want to make a zoo with you.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
