i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
