dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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