Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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