Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
