My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
