my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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