Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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